In my job, the thank you note is a pretty important thing.
It’s kind of expected.
Feared, almost.

You say thank you all the time. Thank you for a present, of course. Thank you for dinner, obviously. Thank you for giving me that job. Thank you for working for me. Thank you for interviewing me. Thank you for letting me interview you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh yeah, thank you for thanking me, too. Yep, like Russian dolls :

Let’s say somebody sent you flowers to say thank you for a beautiful collaboration. You should thank that person for the thank you flowers. And you might… I mean IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE… That you would receive a thank you note thanking you for your thank you note. I swear. I mean at least you’ll get a thank you email.

The last one standing wins?

Well at least that’s the way it is in New York.
I am not sure about the practices in Paris, but I don’t remember being thanked that much. Not at all, actually.
I don’t know if that’s because at the time I was living there the things I was doing were not super worth thanking, or if it’s because Paris is more of a thankless city.

So then I was not thanking around as much myself. When I got to New York, people must have thought I was very impolite to not thank officially. Brrrrr, dark, dark days.

I ended up learning it by living it (I always do that anyway).

Ok, don’t take this as a lesson these are just deductions.

A thank you note can be anything as long as it comes from the heart. It can be any doodle made on a napkin with a Bic pen (well of course just be careful you have the right gender pen) and written in vernacular language (“Fucking big thank you bitch!”)(I don’t know, you could be saying thank you to Rihanna) or a paper with heavy imposing grammage with a delicate fountain pen with a lot of poetry in it (“Thank you for this enchanting dinner…”), or, like the picture, a beautiful personnalized note (this is from Allison, so cool).

A thank you note can be late if you apologize with a sense of humor. But if you don’t know how much sense of humor your recipient has, send on the earlier side.

A thank you note can’t be written by anybody else but you.

Unfortunately, as few as they are I don’t follow my own rules and I often forget to send thank you notes, so after I feel like I have to send sorry notes (jk, it doesn’t exist)(or does it?). Too bad, I’d love to be part of the club of the perfectly educated people, that would rather die than not send a thank you note on time.
In the meantime, I hope people have mercy for me.

Oh and to this day, I am not really sure about when to stop the Russian dolls thank you to the thank you effect.

SO, just in case, let me tell you :

What do you think about all that? How do you say thank you? Are there rules that I’m not aware of?

Will you forgive me?