What was I telling you yesterday? Something about being at home? Well…. I’m on a flight to LA and I suddenly want to talk to you about love. It’s gotta be all these big blue skies and puffy clouds that have me feeling a touch romantic.
Here are 23 things that I’ve learned through trial and error, except the one about Jerry Hall and Mick Jagger. Thanks Jerry for testing that one for us, I don’t think I would’ve had the courage (you’ll understand why in a second).
– No one will ever be good enough for you, but there also isn’t anyone too good for you.
It’s just a question of timing. (Right, L? First year of college, sitting together just to the left of the radiator in Auditorium C).
– Insulting people is not something you should do. Even with those you love.
– Play hard to get. It always works and is way more fun.
– You can’t change someone, but people can change… If they want to.
– There is a moment when we need to close the bathroom door.
– Love, in a couple, is conditional.
– Know yourself. I know I’m messy and it’s crazy annoying for most people who live with me, myself included. So with that, as soon as I had a job, I hired a cleaning lady. Domestic bliss.
– If no man can come close to being half the man your father is, go to a shrink.
– False advertising is not a crime. Yeah, I made Scott think I was a great cook when we first met. What’s wrong with that? He had me believing he dreamed to learn French.
– You have to know how to say no. Especially when it’s late and you’ve maybe had one glass too many and that the guy you’re about to say yes to has just noticed that you exist, now that Kate Moss finally decided to end her night with Jamie Hince. You are not anyone’s consolation prize. Not even Kate Moss.
– You have to know how to say yes. Even when the person to whom we’re about to say yes to does not fit in our precisely planned life trajectory.
– Yeah, okay. Ryan Gosling is hot. Can we go back to our normal boys now?
– Forgive. It’s difficult, but it’s beautiful.
– Don’t forgive the same mistake more than three times.
Don’t forgive the same mistake over and over… Until you’re running out of forgiveness.
– Miss each other. It’s important. Go get a life!
– One day, a long time ago, Jerry Hall, while she was with Mick Jagger, said that every problem in a relationship can be resolved with a good blowjob.
I wonder what L’Wren Scott thinks of that.
– I’m willing to bet that laser hair removal has saved more than a few couples (Signed : The Yeti).
– Sometimes, our BFFs are wrong and our man is right.
Yeah. It took me years to admit that.
– Some people love being depressed. The worst thing you could do to them is try to make them happy.
– Of course we have the right to be jealous!
– Giving someone all the freedom in the world is the best way to have them stay right there laying close to you, purring by your side.
– Your best friend’s ex will forever be off limits.
– You can be perfectly happy being perfectly single.
Okay… Now, what can you add to my list here?
What ya got? What have you learned about love?