Among all of Phoebe Philo’s misdeeds, these shoes are maybe the one that annoys me the most : I love them.

Not only do I love them, but Céline carries them over from one season to the next, and all my friends who have them can’t stop telling me how comfortable they are.

The problem ?

They don’t suit me, like, at all.

It’s a foot thing. Shoes with such an imposing wood sole, when you are a size 40 – it makes an awful lot of wood. It’s like each time I’ve tried them on, I’ve felt like I was carrying two tree trunks at my feet. Very elegant.

And try them on I have, believe me. I’ve tried them the first season they were out (“What an awesome pair of shoes, let’s buy them as soon as possible. Hey but… Why do they looks so ugly on me ?”), when they went on sale (“Huuuuum, maybe 40% less of the price will make them fit better ? Mmmmmm… No.”), when they issued a slightly different model (“There you go ! I am sure they designed this one for all the girls like me ! Oh, actually… Still not.”) and also, with a friend, in order to make sure I was not totally crazy with my foot thing (“Oh gosh Garance, you’re right, I can totally see the two tree trunks at your feet ! Definitely don’t buy them. Wait, maybe let’s see if it’s different on me !!! Miss, do you have a size 38 ? Thank you ! Oh, look, you were right ! On smaller feet it’s totally cute ! Love it ! Hey… Would you mind if I bought them ?).

So here. Just for you, a picture of those shoes, in a size 38, and in green, which is one of the latest releases, and happens to be my favorite color.

Stay calm, Garance, stay calm.