Long hair is pretty and all but it gets in your eyes.

Everyday I wash it, leave my house, wear it down, still wet, it gets annoying, I don’t have a hair-tie to put it up, so I just stick a pen in it or whatever else I can get my hands on, no lies, I’ve used a spoon before, or if nothing is around, I just tie a knot, and it falls right back town, so I twirl it back up again, and then I put in my hands through it when I don’t know what to do with my ten fingers, or I’ll make a braid that comes undone in ten seconds, and so I twirl that up as well.

Point is, I spend half of my day with — copyright my mother — a bird’s nest on my head. How delightful.

But isn’t a nice little pony tail easy enough to do?