Oh man, these fashion weeks are going by in a blink. I’m already in Milan! But I gotta keep you up to date on the last developments in London. A little synopsis of everything lived, done, and heard between the start of the Burberry show and just before leaving the after-party, completely drunk at…

9 p.m.

You don’t change out a winning team. Yeah fine, have your fun Alexa.

-A funny thing happened to me: my seat at the show was right behind Anna Wintour. So besides being able to sift through every pore of her most serene skin, I could gaze at, right there infront of me, Alexa C., Frida P., Mary Kate O., Liv T., Emma W., Gwyneth P., and Posh S.

-What does everyone do before a megastarred show? You tweet. Okay, except for me, my Blackberry is way too small. So just to blend in, I tweet orally.

-Overheard –> Gwyneth Paltrow to Anna Wintour [Just an FYI, It was Gwyneth who got up to go say hello to Anna. Ha, everything in its right place.], “Anna, I’m so happy to see you. Your last movie was so amaaaaazing!!”

– And no, I didn’t have my camera. I had to make a choice : thigh high boots or camera. So thigh highs it was. To make up for it, I thought I’d give you photos of my three favorite socialites. With always a special love shout-out to my dear Alexa, who’s always a ray of sunlight, really, the coolest girl on earth. And Dree Hemingway, just… wow.

– Wow… In her Zara shirt. And of course, as you wouldn’t expect less from me, I made may way over to the nearest Zara to try it on. No idea why, but it didn’t fall on me the same way.

– Anna W., according to Gwyneth P., will soon be Oscared up!

– The thing about my Stella McCartney tight high boots (yep)(no but seriously girl)(ok, I’ll tell you about ’em), is that they come up so high that everyone picks up my skirt to see just how high they go. Next time, I’m wearing smiley panties.

– Seen –> Three people with cut fingers, bleeding. The Burberry invites were made out of a super sharp metal. At the end of the show, they were handing out band-aids. Ow! Fashion Victims!

Beckham Interlude. Maestro, bring in the chorus please. At first, I didn’t recognize her. She was all timid, not at all like I imagined her, which was somewhat like a cross between Robocop and Woody Wood Pecker. I was totally staring at her to beef up some of my friends’ tweets when she gave me the biggest smile, soft and nice. And right then, I dunno, my heart went boom boom. Garance, really now? You little thing you.

– Seen –> Kate Moss in the flesh. Yep. Not at Burberry but this little sighting just went so well with this flashy post. She is beaaaaautiful. She has this little voice and wore a hat that will soon colonize the fashion world.

Beckham Interlude. Because here, I gotta say that a few weeks back, Vic Beckham, I had the chance to see her collection of dresses she did with Roland Mouret. Of course I was there pretty much just to make fun of it, ha ha, Posh made some dresses, ahaha, when in the end, I had to admit: Her collection was awesome. Vic, you smile at me like that one more time, I’m gonna pounce, front row or or not.

– Heard –> My friend Tiffany, “Youh! I am so hot in my leather pants that my ass is all sticky!”

– So classy.

– Heard –> “I’m so happy I got an invite to this party! I heard some people got calls saying they’d pay 1000£ for an invite!”

– It’s true that the little hors d’oeuvres were good and the cocktails, how should I put it… heady. But 1000£?

– For a party that lasts only until 9?

– Wait wait, the 9 o’clock thing, that was that just for me?

– The party didn’t stop after I left?

– Wait, really?

– You sure?

– I really don’t see why not.

Okkeeee dokey, no more bullshitting, it’s time for my cappuccino… Viva Italia! Bonne journée! ;-) <– Smiley, always the sharp point of fashion, soon to be found under my skirt. Big hugs!

Translation : Tim Sullivan